Day 6 -The epitome of gullibility and wishful thinking.

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So today started out great!

Unfortunately, at around two, shit hit the fan.

I ended up falling into this online mumbo jumbo on how you can think yourself thin. Okay, so before you say anything I know that it may have worked for some people. I understand how it could have -and that’s great.

But for me?

I took it waaayyyy too far.

For a few terrible hours, I was convinced that I could eat whatever the fuck I wanted and still get thin. (excuse the French).

No, I am not posting intake. I am too freaking scared to calculate all that.

So, some negatives out of today:

While I woke up at 156, and completely capable of even burning enough today to make my goal, I didn’t.

I ate the whole fucking house.

I feel stupid.

Some positives:

My stomach is being so unappreciative (especially from the profuse amounts of ice cream and cream cheese) that I will have no problem at all finding the motivation to not eat for maybe the rest of my life.
I wanna purge so badly, my stomach hurts. But I can’t. I promised myself that my b/p days would be over. I’m not going to land in that cycle again.

I did not break my rules for intermittent fasting, strangely enough. (Although I’m wondering how much that’d help me).

Guys, I don’t care who you are. There is one central rule to weight loss/gain/maintenance. And that is Calories in, Calories out. You may have a faster/slower metabolism, and, yes, height and muscle composition plays a key; maybe some foods/supplements do stimulate your metabolism, and after-burn is more than just a myth. Well guess what? That’s still calories in and calories out. You lose sight of this, and you FUCK UP big time.

I’m just glad I regained my senses today.

Now, let’s look full on for tomorrow, eh? Who’s up for two hours of rigorous elliptical-ing? And maybe a niiice, long, insanity marathon.

(Okay I’m not that crazy -I actually have a couple reports I need to get done- but I WILL wake up early to do some workouts).

Day 3

2 (4)

For god’s sake, I have got to stop eating sweets. It’s killing me.

Today I had a pineapple cake. ONE PINEAPPLE CAKE. TWO BITES.

Guess how many calories?

280 FUCKING CALORIES THAT’S HOW MANY.

They’re ruining me. They’re just so tempting and then you take a bite and THERE GOES MY INTAKE FOR THE DAY and then the cravings start. Seriously, no cravings until I actually eat something and then all I can think about is CARBSCARBSCARBSCARBSCARBS.

New rule: Until the end of these 100 days, NO SWEETS.

Two exceptions: I can have 1 piece of candy and 1 dessert on Halloween and Thanksgiving, respectively but EVERYTHING will count towards intake, so that may cause me to reconsider.

sigh.

Intake:

Gummy Vites Calcium Supplement          +   30

CQ-10 Supplement          +        5

Lipton Chai Tea          +        5

1 Pineapple cake          + 280

6oz rotisserie chicken breast meat          + 312

1 serving of plain Rozini Smart Taste spaghetti           + 250          (adding 100 to that because it was a visual estimate and also I know my mother added oil. Luckily, I got out of the sauce because it had mushrooms in it, to which I am allergic. Thank god)

Multivitamin          +        5

Total:          + 887

Outtake:

887 Jumping Jacks          –        0

Total:          –        0

I’m feeling much better today, though so hoping to get back into the cardio tomorrow, which should help make a dent on my rapidly decreasing daily allotments for the week.

Net:          + 887

Goal net for the next four days:          + 2446     This averages out to:          + 611/day

Funny, I would have been just fine without the pineapple cake. -_-“

Day 2

2 (2)

Today was bad. I miss having control. Every time I seem to gain it, I lose it again.

Intake:

Calcium supplement          +   30

STASH premium chai spice decaf tea          +      5

Apple Juice box          +     30

1/2 Clif Mojo Sweet & Salty Trail mix bar          +     95

1 packet M&M’s          +   230

1 plain cod fillet          +   189

1 small slice oreo cake         +   300 (estimation)

1 cup lipton white berry tea          +        5

total:          +   884

Outtake:

884 Jumping Jacks          –        0

none other -still not feeling too hot. I change my mind; being sick does NOT help with restriction.  People keep trying to give you sweets (and I fell for them Dx)

At least I don’t have to eat dinner with the fam Wednesday and Thursday, so that will help.

Net:          +   884

Goal net for the next five days:          + 3333               This averages out to:          +   666/day

Day 1 -My throat hurts

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Yeah, I have strep. I don’t think it’s going to be difficult at all to restrict over the next couple of days. Which is good, because today I found out that I actually weigh 158. fml.

Intake:

6 Halls Defense Assorted Citrus cough drops                    +    75

Meijer Gold Chai tea                                                                   +       5

My mom actually took me to BUTTERBEES. WHY.

1 Chicken tender                                                                          + 400

1 Potato skin                                                                                 +    83

water with lemon                                                                        +      5

Lipton white caramel truffle tea                                             +      5

1 potato                                                                                          + 110

1/4 cup Ground beef with taco spice                                    + 100 (estimating)

total                                                                                                 + 783

Outtake:

I do 1 jumping jack for every calorie I consume, but don’t count this or bmr in outtake, so:

–      0

Net:                                                                                                  + 783

 

That leaves my goal net intake for the next six days to be:  4217cals (average 702 cal a day.. I’m going to have to be careful.)